ALIAH.

Headscarf - Hijab - Tudung

If you asked me the question "When are you going to start wearing the tudung (hijab / headscarf) ?" a year ago, I would have answered something like "After I get married." or "After I have my first child." without batting an eyelid. I would never have thought that I would be covering up a year later. I used to get so angry and frustrated when somebody told me that I should cover up. The kind of frustration that would often have me yelling "It's just hair. Nobody is going to rape me because of my hair" inside my head. It was naive of me to even think of something like that because I never really gave the tudung a chance. I never educated myself on what good it could bring to me and what it could make me feel about myself. I had so many reasons for me not to wear it ever since I hit puberty. I would tell myself "But sports" or "What if boys won't like me in a tudung" or "What if I won't be approachable" or "But my friends are wearing shorts, I want to wear them too." The struggle was as real as real could get.

Things I think everyone should know :

Wearing the hijab doesn't give me or you the power to look at someone and say "I'm better than you because I'm covering up." Maybe physically, yes. You do look more Islamic but if that is your mentality, then I think the girl not wearing the hijab, and does not judge anyone, is more islamic than you are, thinking-wise. Just because she isn't covering up, doesn't mean she's any less of a muslim than you. She might not cover up, but she doesn't miss her prayers. She might not cover up, but she has a connection with Allah. You don't know what Allah knows, so you shouldn't judge. Pray for your sisters instead, but by all means do not think that you are better than anyone.
Wearing the headscarf doesn't automatically make me a "religious" or "pious" person. It doesn't turn me into a saint overnight. I sin, still. I use bad words, still. But what the hijab does for me, is it reminds me of the person I should be. It makes me want to pray a lot more, it makes me want to be better because I know I'm carrying the identity of my religion, it makes me want to look at myself in a positive way, just as I'd like other people to see me that way too. It makes others focus on what I have to say, rather than how I look.
Wearing the hijab is not just about whether you can see my hair or not, it's about modesty. It's about being modest in every way and everything I do. Modesty is a sense of shame. It is humbling myself in this temporary dunya. And besides, a woman's true beauty isn't seen. It's discovered. Hijab or non-hijab.

I think if you have the intention to cover up, take your time. That's my opinion. And I could say now that it's based on my experience, since that was exactly what I did and I am incredibly happy and content with my decision. (But if you can decide today, and you're strong enough to start wearing it permanently tomorrow, you have all my respect and support.) I've said this once in a post from a couple months ago and I'll say it again : Let the girl take her own time and trust that she will wear it soon when her heart is opened up and ready to accept the headscarf. That way she will be on the highest level on sincerity doing it. Believe that the girl will think about the consequences and benefits of wearing the headscarf herself, and feel the need to without you drilling into her head that she and her parents and future husband are all going to hell because she's not covering up her aurah. I know the punishment of the Hellfire is true, and I know Allah will not break His promise. But is that really a way for anyone to pull someone into wearing the hijab ? Was it really necessary for you to degrade and demotivate her like that in the sense of faith and what she is doing ? That was never my push to wear the headscarf. My push, and my motivation was the goodness of what the hijab brings. The way it makes me feel, the way it identifies me as a muslim instantly. Pray for her instead, don't pressure her. If she has it in her heart to obey Allah's command then inshaAllah, the day will come sooner than you think. You may advise her, but don't advise her to the extent that she feels it's more of a sneer than an advice. Don't sound arrogant.
I've had so many times where I would just think to myself and ask, "Am I really going to do this ?" followed by whispers of the shaytan luring me into going on Instagram and going on profiles of different girls to admire their long pretty hair. And then I realize that this is the test and I can't fail any longer. Allah SWT has given me so much. Blessed me with so much. And yet I couldn't do this one thing He asks of me ? One thing that is good for me. I can't live like for the rest of my life. This world is temporary anyway.